Why I’m Not Good At Pressing Pause


It was Wednesday of last week, and I felt as if work was imploding around me. Tasks I had hoped to get done by then were starting to look as if they’d never get done. Projects with lots of moving parts were not coming together. People I had been relying on to get things done were unresponsive. I was freaking out.

I was supposed to leave for Newport, RI the very next day to take part in the Cambridge Writers’ Workshop‘s writing and yoga retreat. I had plans to disconnect from work. From Twitter. From Tumblr. From the responsibilities of home and motherhood. I was going to use the time to revive the book manuscript I’d pushed aside for the past year.

I would only be gone for four days.

But was it asking too much?

I don’t go places. Traveling exhausts me (why can’t we teleport yet?). I tend to miss the familiarity of my own bed. My own shower. I always miss my three cats deeply.

But beyond that, I always feel as if things will fall apart without me. It’s the reason I checked in with work while on my honeymoon in Mexico. It’s the reason I continued working during my two-month “maternity leave.” It’s the reason I generally prefer work that does not require me to rely on other people in any way.

Still, overblown anxiety aside, pressing pause does have its benefits.


Me at the delightfully sunny retreat house in Newport, RI, sitting in a quiet corner, writing, writing, writing.


If you have trouble pressing pause, I may be able to help. Starting this month, I’ll be teaching a monthly Inner Peace workshop at Verona Yoga, the third Tuesday of every month. You can find more info here.

(image via flickr)

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